Commissioner Tammy Wilson will be out of, um, commission for a few days while she has surgery to replace her puppet strings.  Shortly after being seated as the Ward 5 City Commissioner, Wilson underwent the intricate procedure of having the original set of puppet strings attached.  “We really thought they would last longer, but a year and half in and they are already wearing out,” she stated in an exclusive interview with Route 60 staff.  “Being the City Manager’s puppet has been exhausting!  And more than a little trying, him being such a big bully and all.” she said.

Tammy the Muppet

The original puppet strings can clearly be seen in this file photo from her swearing in ceremony.

Rumors were that Enid City Manager Eric Benson was on the hunt for an alterations lady that could make his back pocket bigger so she could fit into it more easily, but was unsuccessful.  “We had to go ahead with the string replacement since there were no other alternatives,” Benson explained.  When asked if she could just forego the whole thing entirely, he stated, “Are you kidding?  She can’t think for herself, I have to exert my control over everything she does.  Clearly you haven’t figured out this whole minion thing yet.”

Every time Commissioner Wilson pays a parking ticket, a portion of the fine goes into a special secret fund set aside to pay for the string replacement procedure.  Local photographer Mike Klemme will be paid $25,000 to document the process for the City’s archives which are housed in a mayonnaise jar buried on the courthouse lawn (which the City rents from the county with money it’s supposed to use on other things) since the City has knocked down every other building in town.