The National Aeronautic and Space Administration has released information that has confirmed that despite popular theories, we are not all going to die anytime soon. Well, some of us might….of natural causes.

Many people have been spreading popular email theories about the Mayan prophecies and this notion that Earth is going to be blown to smithereens by a rogue planet or meteor.

“None of this is based on fact,” said an unnamed NASA source. “People just like to spread information without knowing the facts. Nobody bothered to call us and ask. We know this stuff. It’s what we do,” he continued.

Another NASA source was more harsh, “The doomsdayers as we call them just pull theories out of their asses and try to pass it off as fact. Then when you try to rationally explain why they are wrong, they say that they have a right to have the opinion that the Earth is going to end, despite the fact that it is not. You can have an opinion about something, but make it f**king logical and based on fact rather than pulling it out of your ass!”

“If there was a rogue planet coming at us, we would have already implemented Plan 1999. Plan 1999 involves gathering all the living actors from the movie “Armageddon” and putting them into space to take that sucker out with two nuclear warheads,” he said. “Trust me….Bruce f’n Willis does not F**K around on these things. We’ve used the crew before without the public even knowing about it.”

Bruce Willis....doesn't f**k around.

Bruce Willis….doesn’t f**k around.

Despite the fact that all possible doomsday prophecies have been debunked as myth a group of citizens in Enid have decided to go ahead and place blame for the end of the world. Naturally, they place the blame squarely on City Manager Eric Benson and his crony commission.

“They should have listened to the voters!” cried one man. “We warned them of this and they chose to build an event center instead! This money should have been used to help prevent the end of days!”

Another naysayer went further, “I believe this was Mr. Benson’s plan all along. To allow Enid to be destroyed by one of the 23 possible theories out there was his plan all along. And now, he’s done it.”

From behind their keyboard a user known only as fishielover82 blasted the commission. “They just do whatever he says to do! They have no mind of their own! Benson is evil!”

There was talk about a small group of the naysayers possibly forming a mob complete with pitchforks and flaming torches to march on City Hall. But that movement never materialized as the group was busy on their computers complaining.

Stay with Route 60 for any possible developments.

Here is the link to the NASA debunking of popular “End of the Earth” theories.

NASA: Why December 21 is just another day